What belongs to you but is used more by others?

Answer:  Your name

My name is Isabella Noelle Colucci.  The name Isabella was chosen by my parents who loved the name and loved Isabella Rossellini.  The name Isabella means "Devoted to God."  Then on the website SheKnows it says, "people with this name have a deep inner need for quiet, and a desire to understand and analyze the world they live in, and to learn the deeper truths."  I do not believe a meaning that has been attached to the name I was given shapes me in any way.  I believe that I define who I am myself, by my experiences, knowledge, and personal beliefs.  I do not believe in any "numerology" sayings that also attach to my name.  However, the way SheKnows describes people named Isabella is kind of accurate about me.  I would say I am quiet and try to understand this world I live in.  However, I do not think it could possibly apply to the supposedly 13,033 people named Isabella.  The name that I write on the paper everyday is not there to represent who I am.  Who I am by characteristics and actions shapes my name.  My middle name is Noelle and it was not supposed to be.  It was supposed to be Rachel but due to being born just mere days before Christmas they, my parents, decided Noelle was more fit.  The fact that my parents can switch the name they have had chosen for me for months shows that nothing is decided.  I am not decided on who I am who how I will give something to my name.  I will be able to change and shape who I am and my name for days, months, and years to come.  My last name Colucci was actually Coluccio until some relative of mine came to the United States from Italy and decided to take the 'O' off the end so it was "less Italian."  At least that is what my grandparents told me.  The name Colucci will probably live on and on and I believe the last name is the only name that is a part of me that has been shaped before I was even born.  The name has been carried through a lot of people with a lot of characteristics and the shared characteristics can be carried through the name.  For example, the Colucci's are family oriented, happy, and givers.  The name Colucci is a part of my name and the way my past relatives have defined it has made me proud to wear it.  But, I also like how I have shaped Isabella Noelle myself. 

"There are two me's, the me who is the individual and the me who is a part of a family of four..."
Everybody has two me's.  I have two me's that I struggle with every now and then.  I come from what could be considered a "big" family and a lot of the time I struggle with being part of them.  Sometimes I worry too much about my parents or siblings that I do not take in consideration how I feel.  If my sister(s) want to do something then I slowly jump on board even if I do not want to myself, I just want to have the time with my sisters.  It also works the other way around when my siblings or parents ask me what I want to do or where to eat, they are putting my needs and wants in front of their own.  The constant need to please others splits a person into two.  That is always the hardest part:  the need to please.  Trying to fit in is another way of putting yourself down so you can please the "standards of societies."  I believe that everyone should try to fight against it at times to make sure they are who they truly are and not hide themselves.  I even need to fight against my need to please at times too.

This also applies with friends.  Sometimes when I make plans a week in advance I end up feeling like crap the day of but do not cancel because I have made commitments with my group of friends and do not want to miss out or make them feel bad.  I know that when I am with them then I will be okay but I still do not take in consideration how I feel.  It is constantly a battle of putting myself first or the people around me.  I know that in the end, if I am happier and healthier by putting myself first before worrying about the people around me then I will be able to have a better time with my family or friends.




Comments

  1. Nice Post. I think your name is really cool. It just rolls off the tongue really nicely. I think it might have something so do with the L's encased by vowels in all of your names. Your parents definitely did a good job.

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  2. I like how you turned your name into a lesson of life. I agree with your point, nothing is definite and anything is able to be changed at anytime.

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